Beast Versus Beast

In the aftermath of hurricane Dennis it becomes clear that the damage was nowhere near what had been feared. For an explanation we turn to FEMA spokesman Buck Chaser.

DF: Buck?

Buck: We are really relieved. This could have been much worse.

DF: How do you explain the lack of damage?

Buck: As you know forecasting hurricanes is a tricky business, but as near as we can figure the effects of this storm were blunted by the cable networks.

DF: Come again?

Buck: We've got thousands of reporters down here from Fox News to Outdoor Life. While the volume of hot air did strengthen Dennis initially, the shear mass of bodies along the beaches reduced the wind speed and held back the worst of the storm surge. These guys are like self-stacking sand bags. I've never seen anything like it.

DF: How can you account for this effect in the future?

Buck: Clearly we need to go back to the models. It's tricky though. We were lucky this time coming between the lack of breaking news from Aruba before wildfire season really heats up. It's also the middle of summer reruns. If this had happened during the World Series or American Idol finals Penscola probably would have been flattened.