Outsourced Intelligence
NEW ORLEANS, United States (AFP) -
"What I was referring to is this: When that storm came by, a lot of people said we dodged a bullet," Bush said.
"And I myself thought we had dodged a bullet. You know why? Because I was listening to people probably over the airwaves say, 'The bullet has been dodged.' And that was what I was referring to," he said.
Sunday afternoon, White House situation room:
Bush: "Well it looks like that Katrina, Tina, Tinker Tina has all run out o' gas. What d'ya got?"
CIA: "We've been carefully monitoring Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network and I'm afraid we've come up empty.
Bush: "Some of them Sponge Bobs might just come in handy, heh, heh."
CIA: "Good one, sir."
NSA: "Fox News says New Orleans dodged a bullet, the hurricane should have no effect on the Natalie Holloway story, and apparently sir you are still a frickin genius."
Bush: "Aw, shucks. Dickie?"
Chenney: "Current estimates range anywhere from 2 to 14 billion dollars."
Bush: "Estimates of what?"
Chenney: "The amount of money we can funnel to Halliburtun in the form of disaster relief."
Bush: "I see."
Chenney: "It does depend somewhat on the size of the actual disaster, of course."
Bush: "Anyone else?"
FBI: "We've been carefully monitoring the Weather Channel and the Sci Fi Network and we believe the south is in much bigger danger from radio active alligators and a alien androids made to look like humans than any storm."
Bush: "Got that from the Weather Channel, did ya?"
FBI: "No, sir. We'll be looking at that real soon now. Our agents just find weather a little too boring, sir. I believe Special Agent McMorris just lost the coin flip so he should be reporting back on this in the next few days."
Mike Brown: "It looks like a couple of races in Kentucky and Tennessee might have to be delayed, but we're carefully monitoring the situation."
Bush: "Races?"
Mike Brown: "Horse races, sir. Can't run them in the rain, you know."
Bush: "Right. Hey, didn't some of y'all used to have agents and informants scattered around? You know, looking at things for themselves and reporting back? I reckon I remember something about hollow shoes and really small fish..."
[Embarrassed silence. A couple of feet tap.]
Bush: "Tiny satellite radios?"
[A soft whistling can be heard.]
Bush: "How about friends and relatives you could call?"
[Shuffling papers. Nervous coughs.]
Bush: "Very well then. Beer and bratts at 5:00. Keep up the good work."
"What I was referring to is this: When that storm came by, a lot of people said we dodged a bullet," Bush said.
"And I myself thought we had dodged a bullet. You know why? Because I was listening to people probably over the airwaves say, 'The bullet has been dodged.' And that was what I was referring to," he said.
Sunday afternoon, White House situation room:
Bush: "Well it looks like that Katrina, Tina, Tinker Tina has all run out o' gas. What d'ya got?"
CIA: "We've been carefully monitoring Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network and I'm afraid we've come up empty.
Bush: "Some of them Sponge Bobs might just come in handy, heh, heh."
CIA: "Good one, sir."
NSA: "Fox News says New Orleans dodged a bullet, the hurricane should have no effect on the Natalie Holloway story, and apparently sir you are still a frickin genius."
Bush: "Aw, shucks. Dickie?"
Chenney: "Current estimates range anywhere from 2 to 14 billion dollars."
Bush: "Estimates of what?"
Chenney: "The amount of money we can funnel to Halliburtun in the form of disaster relief."
Bush: "I see."
Chenney: "It does depend somewhat on the size of the actual disaster, of course."
Bush: "Anyone else?"
FBI: "We've been carefully monitoring the Weather Channel and the Sci Fi Network and we believe the south is in much bigger danger from radio active alligators and a alien androids made to look like humans than any storm."
Bush: "Got that from the Weather Channel, did ya?"
FBI: "No, sir. We'll be looking at that real soon now. Our agents just find weather a little too boring, sir. I believe Special Agent McMorris just lost the coin flip so he should be reporting back on this in the next few days."
Mike Brown: "It looks like a couple of races in Kentucky and Tennessee might have to be delayed, but we're carefully monitoring the situation."
Bush: "Races?"
Mike Brown: "Horse races, sir. Can't run them in the rain, you know."
Bush: "Right. Hey, didn't some of y'all used to have agents and informants scattered around? You know, looking at things for themselves and reporting back? I reckon I remember something about hollow shoes and really small fish..."
[Embarrassed silence. A couple of feet tap.]
Bush: "Tiny satellite radios?"
[A soft whistling can be heard.]
Bush: "How about friends and relatives you could call?"
[Shuffling papers. Nervous coughs.]
Bush: "Very well then. Beer and bratts at 5:00. Keep up the good work."
posted by davew at 6:43 AM
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